Venus—Mars, Oil—Water, Dogs—Cats: What other metaphors can I draw upon to demonstrate there are fundamental differences between men and women? Even though our culture is desperately trying to blur, if not erase, the lines between the two sexes and create a “genderless” society, let’s admit it: GOD MADE US DIFFERENT! It’s a beautiful and harmonizing diversity, though, not to be denied or exploited, but to be understood and appreciated. Consequently, the passages and principles may be the same, but how men and women go about raising their personal support has some wide variances. So, instead of me just “sharing” my heart on this subject, let me (as a full-blooded male) instead “list” my five key points:
1. Women want close relationships with their supporters
Not that men don’t, but for the most part, females who are raising support have a greater interest in finding out the spouse and children’s names, birthdays, ages and schools, interests and needs, etc…And more of their appointments may be in homes with both husband and wife present, seeking to know about their personal life, needs, and prayer requests.
2. Men strongly present their vision and goals
Women certainly do a good job of laying out their mission and role, but many men seem to put a real premium on confidently, even aggressively, reciting their purpose statement, showing alarming (sometimes shocking!) statistics, and communicating the specific and measurable objectives they hope to accomplish in the next 3-5-10 years. And man alive, they can really put together some impressive PowerPoint slides, allowing the donor to graphically “visualize” the story!
3. Women share with empathy and authenticity
Being open and vulnerable, even revealing fears and weaknesses, is the preferable approach many women are comfortable with. Connecting to the heart, rather than just the mind (or the pocketbook!), is of highest priority. Women may interpret some men’s penchant for actually asking for a decision on giving during the appointment as insensitive and uncaring or putting too much undue pressure on the giver.
4. Men focus on the big picture rather than details
“We want to win the entire world to Christ!” a guy might boldly proclaim, while a gal raising support may go hour by hour as to what her daily ministry schedule entails. At the same time, a woman may be busy producing and sending well-done (and personalized) monthly newsletters, while the man may be praying and building up enough courage to approach that major donor for a $5,000 or $10,000 ask!
5. Women enjoy the journey, not just the destination
For most ladies, support raising is not just a “necessary evil” or bothersome hoop they must jump through to get to their ministry. Many times, they find joy in the process, make new friends, and record lessons God has taught them in their journal. Yes, men may sometimes get to full support quicker because they are more focused on the end result (i.e. just “show ME the money!”), but they might miss out on the incredible blessings along the way.
Agree? Disagree? Add or subtract? I know it appears like I have been harder on the men than the women in this article. Maybe it’s just because I am all too familiar with the evil that lurks within our hearts!
Finally, if you want to become the COMPLETE and TOTALLY BALANCED support raiser: men, you may have to get in touch with your feminine side, and ladies, you may have to toughen up and think like a guy sometimes!
